Indeed.
Anyways, last Friday my school had its music festival. Complete in a huge booked theatre with about 500 onlookers while my class sung Tegami (a Japanese song) and We are the world.
Nervous? Yes. Liked it? Loved it.
Sure, trying to sing a song in Japanese in front of lots of people is a bit doki doki but when I could hide my terrible voice within the sound of a class of 39 singing Japanese, it's not that bad. And I had no troubles singing We are the world (not that I like the song at all though, too politically correct).
But what really made me love the music festival was listening to the other classes, and the "private performances" by clubs or groups of three, they were brave.
Of course, the best of all was the song of the class that won, 10-2. They sang freaking Zankoku Na Tenshi No These and they were amazing.
So yeah, that was fun.
In other news I have picked my new classes for when I become a 12th grader (next school year starts in April, y'know). And I quickly noticed that 12th graders have awesome schedules. Every class consists of double hours, two periods that is. And we're supposed to have 10 classes altogether, if you're good at math (or simply not bad), you would understand that it's less than 4 hours of school per day (I have school on Saturdays, remember?). I'll either get myself some nice extra sleep in the morning or finish classes by noon, woohoo!
A slightly amusing fact is that I still haven't written my schedule here and probably never will before it becomes obsolete. That's the power of procrastination for you.
So what else is there to write about? Gee, that's a good question. I recently realized I've reached (my, look at that wonderful line of I's and R's) the point where my Japanese skills are good enough to say funny things and make people laugh with me (as opposed to saying stupid things making people laugh at me), so that's nice (It still feels like I suck at Japanese though).
I might be crazy, saying this. But I actually do think my creative ability has increased, somehow. Japan has given me loads and loads of time to spend thinking and I then get to train my transition from thoughts into English by writing this blog. Goodie.
Onwards. So it's like, 4 months left here in Japan now. Man, I'll never underestimate the power of time again. Anyways, I still haven't gotten into the second phase of "At first you will want to be home but later you don't want to return", I'm kind of stuck in the middle, like "It's fine here, I don't mind it". But that's not good enough.
It bears mentioning - my cellphone has been broken for nearly two weeks, depriving me of the daily crazy mails I'd come to love, oh well. I'll go get it fixed one of these days, hopefully buying myself a denshijisho in the same go (number 56# on my list of "things I should tell my younger self if I ever get the chance": Buy a denshijisho as early as possible, they're too goddamn helpful).
Is that all? No? Well I can't come up with anything at the moment, let's leave it like this.
onsdag 10 februari 2010
söndag 17 januari 2010
Unversed
So I figured I'd write something, just because.
School's started again and I've already gotten used to it. Stuff is happening.
Like, there's a music festival coming up, so all classes are practicing a song (a very popular one) during free hours. Despite my singing voice being the equivalent of a bulldozer running over an Organ, I'm having quite a lot of fun.
There are no 3:rd year students left in the school, apparently they're all free because they're applying for universities. Unfortunately, no 3:rd years means no Kendo, since the class consisted mostly out of students from grade 12.
Oh, and due to some exchange students leaving for home, some hours have become free for the rest of us to use. So now I have two extra Japanese lessons per week, group discussion (fun times).
You might notice that I've been practicing my punctuation, as I really do overuse my commas.
...
Onwards to other stuff!
You might know that I acquired a PSP for christmas (a blue one, at that). And back on the 9:th I got myself Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep (the latest installment in the series) for it. Despite being marketed as the longest game yet (3 separate storylines for a total of 45 hours of gameplay) I finished it in 22 hours (over 5 days). I even managed to play through an entire storyline in just one day.
I obviously loved the game. And I'm still playing around with it for a 100% completion.
So what I'm trying to say is; if you have a PSP, get the game. It's a really good game in every prospect. Good gameplay, good graphics, good story, good characters and perfectly adequate control. Despite being a prequel for the Kingdom hearts series, people who don't even like the franchise should consider buying this. The story is strong enough to stand by itself and the game plays perfectly on the handheld.
After being all review-y about that, I should probably tell you how much I like my PSP.
Sure, it has a few drawbacks but there's one thing it has: Power.
When I first played the game on it, I couldn't believe such graphics were possible on a portable game system. It looked just as good as Kingdom Hearts II, a game for the PS2 (a stationary console). All I thought was "holy crap! It't like a portable Playstation". Then I remembered its name and it all made sense to me.
Another thing about the PSP is that it's magical. No seriously, listen to this.
When I switched discs from Dissidia to Birth By Sleep, I turned it off on the game menu, switched discs and turned it on.
Judge my surprise when the menu screen for Dissidia popped up on my screen.
That's right, it can play games without the disc, and it's possible to turn it off at any time during gameplay and it will just act as a pause. No more of the "I need to get to a save spot" or "I'm in a battle, I can't pause now". You can turn of "the damn thing" whenever you need to.
So that's about it right now. Later on today I'll go bowling with my host family, I guess it will be fun.
School's started again and I've already gotten used to it. Stuff is happening.
Like, there's a music festival coming up, so all classes are practicing a song (a very popular one) during free hours. Despite my singing voice being the equivalent of a bulldozer running over an Organ, I'm having quite a lot of fun.
There are no 3:rd year students left in the school, apparently they're all free because they're applying for universities. Unfortunately, no 3:rd years means no Kendo, since the class consisted mostly out of students from grade 12.
Oh, and due to some exchange students leaving for home, some hours have become free for the rest of us to use. So now I have two extra Japanese lessons per week, group discussion (fun times).
You might notice that I've been practicing my punctuation, as I really do overuse my commas.
...
Onwards to other stuff!
You might know that I acquired a PSP for christmas (a blue one, at that). And back on the 9:th I got myself Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep (the latest installment in the series) for it. Despite being marketed as the longest game yet (3 separate storylines for a total of 45 hours of gameplay) I finished it in 22 hours (over 5 days). I even managed to play through an entire storyline in just one day.
I obviously loved the game. And I'm still playing around with it for a 100% completion.
So what I'm trying to say is; if you have a PSP, get the game. It's a really good game in every prospect. Good gameplay, good graphics, good story, good characters and perfectly adequate control. Despite being a prequel for the Kingdom hearts series, people who don't even like the franchise should consider buying this. The story is strong enough to stand by itself and the game plays perfectly on the handheld.
After being all review-y about that, I should probably tell you how much I like my PSP.
Sure, it has a few drawbacks but there's one thing it has: Power.
When I first played the game on it, I couldn't believe such graphics were possible on a portable game system. It looked just as good as Kingdom Hearts II, a game for the PS2 (a stationary console). All I thought was "holy crap! It't like a portable Playstation". Then I remembered its name and it all made sense to me.
Another thing about the PSP is that it's magical. No seriously, listen to this.
When I switched discs from Dissidia to Birth By Sleep, I turned it off on the game menu, switched discs and turned it on.
Judge my surprise when the menu screen for Dissidia popped up on my screen.
That's right, it can play games without the disc, and it's possible to turn it off at any time during gameplay and it will just act as a pause. No more of the "I need to get to a save spot" or "I'm in a battle, I can't pause now". You can turn of "the damn thing" whenever you need to.
So that's about it right now. Later on today I'll go bowling with my host family, I guess it will be fun.
torsdag 31 december 2009
Don't steal my bike
Happy new year! (aw dammit).
So I've been planning this entry for quite a while, and now it's finally time. In one hour, the most important decade of my life will be over. One hour after that, I will make a Skype call to everyone partying at home, that will be fun.
Before I get all caught up in this, I should say thanks to those who commented in my last entry, your words were of value and I'm not really sure of how to express my appreciation (especially about the complete stranger who decided to sit down and write a long message just like that. Such kindness is almost unimaginable).
I'm not sure where I should start, whether to convey my nostalgia for these last ten years or tell you how I feel about having passed the mid-mark of my Japanese stay. Here goes nothing.
Five months, dude. That's a long time. Yet somehow it passed faster than ever before, that's weird. During this time, I've felt cut off from the "real world". A part of me is still left in the summer of '09, the most eventful summer of my life. Another part of me is still that young Swedish guy who just came to Japan, nearly scared witless by the alienation but lying to himself in order to become overconfident. The method was unorthodox, I'm sure, but it worked. Gradually I dropped the lies one by one as I accepted the truths that were in front of me.
And here I am, facing the next half of my adventure with a new vigor, ready for round two. This time without the need to put enemy level to three (it's level nine, three Meta Knights, In a team. Hardcore).
My Japanese hasn't improved at the speed I'd been rooting for. I'll see if I can amend that by working harder next year, as well as hope it improves at a faster rate the longer I've been here.
Yeah, that's good enough.
Leaving that, time to turn the nostalgia amp to eleven and get this train rolling! (*tuff tuff tuff*)
Just about ten years ago, I was seven years old, at a new year's party in the house of some friends of the family. I don't remember much of the details, but I know I knew something big was happening. I also know I was kind of let down when the big thing was revealed to be entirely subjective, and not a real event. (I mean, wouldn't it have been cool if it started raining purple and green fire from the sky while a giant bearded figure appeared in the heavens, letters in lightning appearing as he roared "Happy new millennium, future's coming, yo!"?)
Either way, the evening was pretty exciting, with the sound of fireworks all around non-stop.
(huh, just ten minutes left. This is taking more time than I thought)
A little more than nine years ago, September 2001, I got to school as usual. When suddenly the teacher told us all to gather in the mirror room (big mirrors on the wall, hence the name). She then asked if any of knew what had happened and proceeded to tell us about what had happened in far off America. America, it had been the coolest country on earth once, everything that was awesome was imported from there, they had cowboys, Disney, actors, skyscrapers, all the big things and much much more.
After that day, my innocent image of that country was replaced by tales of ridicule, embarrassment and stupidity. By the end of the decade, I barely have any respect for that particular part of the world. Let's hope the future changes that.
December 2001, more or less nine years ago. The family went to the theaters to see the movie adaption of a book my father had read to me and my brother when we were young.
The Fellowship of the Ring blew my mind just as much as it blew everyone else, I'd had no idea you could do that, with a book, in a movie, using fantasy.
In the fall of 2003, I started hanging out with a classmate of mine more often, sometimes doing stuff together during recesses and eventually visiting his house after school, playing Worms Armageddon. That classmate of mine ended up being the best friend I'd ever had, ever have and ever will have. My life would never have been as cool as it is if it hadn't been for him. Thanks man.
Moving on to 2004, I started sixth grade. New school, new class, new life. I still remember the first day, doing the opposite of everyone else by hanging out in the schoolyard with my friend, instead of staying inside (and staying inside was totally rad at that time, since in the prior grades we'd been required to go outside).
Starting from the sixth grade, I slowly evolved as a person over the four years I would spend at "Södra Ängby Skola". The change would sometimes happen in obvious steps, like after the first lesson when I had been sitting right next to Emil. I just knew I wanted to become friends with him (but shyness prevented me from just doing it the easy way). An opportunity presented itself when Niklas, Vilgot and I talked about how we could use a fourth member in our group (we'd started a "magazine" in fifth grade, but lost some members when the class split up. Maybe I should've made the creation of that magazine as an important event.. Oh well, can't have them all) aaanyways, I suggested we introduce Emil to our project during a class trip to "Skärsön". He thought it was interesting and the rest was history. Tidbit: During said school trip, my mom appeared on her motorbike (I'd forgotten something, I think) and impressed everyone, that was awesome.
During summer 2007, I went to a confirmation camp (fear not, tasteless jokes have already been made and gone old) for ten days, the longest amount of time I had spent from home so far. My fellow campmates (is that a word? ... It is now) were all of the "typical teenager" variety.
Before that camp, I had been reluctant as to whether I was okay with being nerdy and therefore different from the "normal" guys, or if I should have tried to be more like them.
After seeing their behavior during those ten days, I knew I would never want to become like them (The rules clearly said "No smoking" and "No drinking", yet those guys couldn't keep off from doing it for just ten days, I mean just come on).
During the school year past that summer, my class got an assignment in Swedish class. We were supposed to make a speech about something. I can't even remember what my subject was, but I'm quite convinced I did well. However, what a classmate of mine talked about changed my life.
She told the class about her language trip. I don't even remember where she went, but she told us all about how fun it had been and what interesting things she had done. I was hooked (though I was unimpressed by her implied partying). All in all, it is thanks to her speech that I gained the desire to make a language trip to Oxford for three weeks in the following summer, it was the longest time I had ever spent away from home. If I hadn't taken that language trip, I would never have had the courage to go all the way to Japan for ten months, the longest time I've ever spent away from home.
Thinking back to all events that have happened during these ten years, all the things I don't have the time to tell you about. I see how my life is shaped by random events, occurrences and coincidences, it's an interesting way to live, and I'm grateful for that.
Happy new year to all of you, as I'm sure you will have catched up to me by the time you read this.
So I've been planning this entry for quite a while, and now it's finally time. In one hour, the most important decade of my life will be over. One hour after that, I will make a Skype call to everyone partying at home, that will be fun.
Before I get all caught up in this, I should say thanks to those who commented in my last entry, your words were of value and I'm not really sure of how to express my appreciation (especially about the complete stranger who decided to sit down and write a long message just like that. Such kindness is almost unimaginable).
I'm not sure where I should start, whether to convey my nostalgia for these last ten years or tell you how I feel about having passed the mid-mark of my Japanese stay. Here goes nothing.
Five months, dude. That's a long time. Yet somehow it passed faster than ever before, that's weird. During this time, I've felt cut off from the "real world". A part of me is still left in the summer of '09, the most eventful summer of my life. Another part of me is still that young Swedish guy who just came to Japan, nearly scared witless by the alienation but lying to himself in order to become overconfident. The method was unorthodox, I'm sure, but it worked. Gradually I dropped the lies one by one as I accepted the truths that were in front of me.
And here I am, facing the next half of my adventure with a new vigor, ready for round two. This time without the need to put enemy level to three (it's level nine, three Meta Knights, In a team. Hardcore).
My Japanese hasn't improved at the speed I'd been rooting for. I'll see if I can amend that by working harder next year, as well as hope it improves at a faster rate the longer I've been here.
Yeah, that's good enough.
Leaving that, time to turn the nostalgia amp to eleven and get this train rolling! (*tuff tuff tuff*)
Just about ten years ago, I was seven years old, at a new year's party in the house of some friends of the family. I don't remember much of the details, but I know I knew something big was happening. I also know I was kind of let down when the big thing was revealed to be entirely subjective, and not a real event. (I mean, wouldn't it have been cool if it started raining purple and green fire from the sky while a giant bearded figure appeared in the heavens, letters in lightning appearing as he roared "Happy new millennium, future's coming, yo!"?)
Either way, the evening was pretty exciting, with the sound of fireworks all around non-stop.
(huh, just ten minutes left. This is taking more time than I thought)
A little more than nine years ago, September 2001, I got to school as usual. When suddenly the teacher told us all to gather in the mirror room (big mirrors on the wall, hence the name). She then asked if any of knew what had happened and proceeded to tell us about what had happened in far off America. America, it had been the coolest country on earth once, everything that was awesome was imported from there, they had cowboys, Disney, actors, skyscrapers, all the big things and much much more.
After that day, my innocent image of that country was replaced by tales of ridicule, embarrassment and stupidity. By the end of the decade, I barely have any respect for that particular part of the world. Let's hope the future changes that.
December 2001, more or less nine years ago. The family went to the theaters to see the movie adaption of a book my father had read to me and my brother when we were young.
The Fellowship of the Ring blew my mind just as much as it blew everyone else, I'd had no idea you could do that, with a book, in a movie, using fantasy.
In the fall of 2003, I started hanging out with a classmate of mine more often, sometimes doing stuff together during recesses and eventually visiting his house after school, playing Worms Armageddon. That classmate of mine ended up being the best friend I'd ever had, ever have and ever will have. My life would never have been as cool as it is if it hadn't been for him. Thanks man.
Moving on to 2004, I started sixth grade. New school, new class, new life. I still remember the first day, doing the opposite of everyone else by hanging out in the schoolyard with my friend, instead of staying inside (and staying inside was totally rad at that time, since in the prior grades we'd been required to go outside).
Starting from the sixth grade, I slowly evolved as a person over the four years I would spend at "Södra Ängby Skola". The change would sometimes happen in obvious steps, like after the first lesson when I had been sitting right next to Emil. I just knew I wanted to become friends with him (but shyness prevented me from just doing it the easy way). An opportunity presented itself when Niklas, Vilgot and I talked about how we could use a fourth member in our group (we'd started a "magazine" in fifth grade, but lost some members when the class split up. Maybe I should've made the creation of that magazine as an important event.. Oh well, can't have them all) aaanyways, I suggested we introduce Emil to our project during a class trip to "Skärsön". He thought it was interesting and the rest was history. Tidbit: During said school trip, my mom appeared on her motorbike (I'd forgotten something, I think) and impressed everyone, that was awesome.
During summer 2007, I went to a confirmation camp (fear not, tasteless jokes have already been made and gone old) for ten days, the longest amount of time I had spent from home so far. My fellow campmates (is that a word? ... It is now) were all of the "typical teenager" variety.
Before that camp, I had been reluctant as to whether I was okay with being nerdy and therefore different from the "normal" guys, or if I should have tried to be more like them.
After seeing their behavior during those ten days, I knew I would never want to become like them (The rules clearly said "No smoking" and "No drinking", yet those guys couldn't keep off from doing it for just ten days, I mean just come on).
During the school year past that summer, my class got an assignment in Swedish class. We were supposed to make a speech about something. I can't even remember what my subject was, but I'm quite convinced I did well. However, what a classmate of mine talked about changed my life.
She told the class about her language trip. I don't even remember where she went, but she told us all about how fun it had been and what interesting things she had done. I was hooked (though I was unimpressed by her implied partying). All in all, it is thanks to her speech that I gained the desire to make a language trip to Oxford for three weeks in the following summer, it was the longest time I had ever spent away from home. If I hadn't taken that language trip, I would never have had the courage to go all the way to Japan for ten months, the longest time I've ever spent away from home.
Thinking back to all events that have happened during these ten years, all the things I don't have the time to tell you about. I see how my life is shaped by random events, occurrences and coincidences, it's an interesting way to live, and I'm grateful for that.
Happy new year to all of you, as I'm sure you will have catched up to me by the time you read this.
torsdag 10 december 2009
Truth be told
I'm going to take this moment and backtrack a little bit, return to the origin of things.
About 1 year and 2-ish months ago I started this blog. Normally I'd be giving the exact numbers, but that's not on my mind this time (a relief?). I'll go ahead and give you the facts now, so that further confusion might be avoided:
This entry will not contain any information about recent events that might've occurred here in Japan, but rather what is on my mind right now.
That is in essence the reason I started writing here, a way to let my thoughts and feelings take shape in letters and words, and a great way to feed my ego by letting other people read this and agree that I am pretty awesome.
I quite quickly lost my way though. Now all I've been doing is writing exactly what I'm doing or have done recently, unoriginal for sure, but the information is also interesting (for some).
This entry is a way to look back at my roots, relieve me of this nostalgia, and have a good time.
Writing here has been an experience. At first trying out my wings, find the right pace. Then finding an upwind from where I could just stretch out my limbs and glide upon the current.
As you can tell, I'm all about the metaphors right now (yeaah, dude).
The root of things is key here, as all my brain seems to be doing is searching back to why things are like this, how this all came to be. Sometimes it's all obvious to me, this lead to that which lead to that other thing and then the chicken crossed the road. At other times, it's all in a veil, part of a concept I am simply too young to understand.
I've matured at a fast rate these last months (this year, even?), which might be the reason for my mind's apparent origin-research. However, thoughts and feelings are not entirely intertwined, of that I am sure (otherwise things would not be as fun). Thus, I still need to come up with a reason, an origin of these feelings.
It should be pretty obvious by now, of course.
I've been going back and forth in the amounts of honesty I've shown on this blog. During this long time, I've gotten lots and lots of new secrets to keep, making me feel dishonest to my readers but reliable to my friends. I've also seen many new things, like the different effects honesty can have, sometimes good, sometimes bad. There's also the factor of my current opinion, feelings, laziness and other details. Either way, I try to be as honest as can be.
Try being the keyword.
I have lots to say about trying, everyone does. All the time we hear the words "you should at least try" and in some cases "just try your best and have fun".
Trying my best has never made sense to me, in a way. "best" as a word is actually quite confusing when you think too much about it (thinking too much used to be my specialty, as well as thinking too little. Paradox much?).
I don't want to try my best, it's such a pain if it doesn't go well. I always keep a little bit of energy to ensure that not all is lost in case I fail.
It's probably (partially) thanks to that nature that I've managed to get here. Failures cause me so much pain and regret, if I didn't keep any reserves, I would just despair and lose myself at the very first failure.
Yes, people do fail, all the time (there's a blog dedicated to it). It's hilarious, it's sad, it's life.
However, I always try, make no mistake of that.
I try to improve my Japanese, I try to mature as a person, I try to gain more friends and confidence. And I really did try keeping my very first relationship, so no regrets there.
Alright, this is what it all summed up to. The reason I write about origins and trying, thoughts and nostalgia, honesty and failures. This is what I'm trying to say.
My very first girlfriend broke up with me back on Saturday. There are a lot of things I could elaborate upon that with, I could grant details. Like reasons, thoughts, feelings and overall whining.
But I won't. I believe this is the line I set when talking about my personal life here.
Or well, the line I set when I've had a few days of thinking, gotten to chat with a few people, kept a few secrets and recently had two cups of tea and two bars of chocolate.
And I feel good about it.
Since now I only miss you, friend.
About 1 year and 2-ish months ago I started this blog. Normally I'd be giving the exact numbers, but that's not on my mind this time (a relief?). I'll go ahead and give you the facts now, so that further confusion might be avoided:
This entry will not contain any information about recent events that might've occurred here in Japan, but rather what is on my mind right now.
That is in essence the reason I started writing here, a way to let my thoughts and feelings take shape in letters and words, and a great way to feed my ego by letting other people read this and agree that I am pretty awesome.
I quite quickly lost my way though. Now all I've been doing is writing exactly what I'm doing or have done recently, unoriginal for sure, but the information is also interesting (for some).
This entry is a way to look back at my roots, relieve me of this nostalgia, and have a good time.
Writing here has been an experience. At first trying out my wings, find the right pace. Then finding an upwind from where I could just stretch out my limbs and glide upon the current.
As you can tell, I'm all about the metaphors right now (yeaah, dude).
The root of things is key here, as all my brain seems to be doing is searching back to why things are like this, how this all came to be. Sometimes it's all obvious to me, this lead to that which lead to that other thing and then the chicken crossed the road. At other times, it's all in a veil, part of a concept I am simply too young to understand.
I've matured at a fast rate these last months (this year, even?), which might be the reason for my mind's apparent origin-research. However, thoughts and feelings are not entirely intertwined, of that I am sure (otherwise things would not be as fun). Thus, I still need to come up with a reason, an origin of these feelings.
It should be pretty obvious by now, of course.
I've been going back and forth in the amounts of honesty I've shown on this blog. During this long time, I've gotten lots and lots of new secrets to keep, making me feel dishonest to my readers but reliable to my friends. I've also seen many new things, like the different effects honesty can have, sometimes good, sometimes bad. There's also the factor of my current opinion, feelings, laziness and other details. Either way, I try to be as honest as can be.
Try being the keyword.
I have lots to say about trying, everyone does. All the time we hear the words "you should at least try" and in some cases "just try your best and have fun".
Trying my best has never made sense to me, in a way. "best" as a word is actually quite confusing when you think too much about it (thinking too much used to be my specialty, as well as thinking too little. Paradox much?).
I don't want to try my best, it's such a pain if it doesn't go well. I always keep a little bit of energy to ensure that not all is lost in case I fail.
It's probably (partially) thanks to that nature that I've managed to get here. Failures cause me so much pain and regret, if I didn't keep any reserves, I would just despair and lose myself at the very first failure.
Yes, people do fail, all the time (there's a blog dedicated to it). It's hilarious, it's sad, it's life.
However, I always try, make no mistake of that.
I try to improve my Japanese, I try to mature as a person, I try to gain more friends and confidence. And I really did try keeping my very first relationship, so no regrets there.
Alright, this is what it all summed up to. The reason I write about origins and trying, thoughts and nostalgia, honesty and failures. This is what I'm trying to say.
My very first girlfriend broke up with me back on Saturday. There are a lot of things I could elaborate upon that with, I could grant details. Like reasons, thoughts, feelings and overall whining.
But I won't. I believe this is the line I set when talking about my personal life here.
Or well, the line I set when I've had a few days of thinking, gotten to chat with a few people, kept a few secrets and recently had two cups of tea and two bars of chocolate.
And I feel good about it.
Since now I only miss you, friend.
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